


Invisible

by AutisticWriter



Series: Mental Illness Headcanons [30]
Category: The Good Life | Good Neighbors
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Alcohol, Angst, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorder, Blood, Character Study, Dark, Domestic Violence, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Episode Related, Fear, Friendship, Gaslighting, Hurt No Comfort, Mental Health Issues, Nervousness, One Shot, Other, Period Typical Attitudes, Scars, Smoking, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-19
Updated: 2017-08-19
Packaged: 2018-12-17 10:28:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11849688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AutisticWriter/pseuds/AutisticWriter
Summary: Jerry knows his relationship with Margo is unstable. But no one else seems to notice.





	Invisible

**Author's Note:**

> Written because of the scene in episode one, where Jerry has a plaster on his head and it's heavily implied that Margo hit him. Watching more, I realised how unstable their relationship is. This story is what resulted.

Jerry and Margo have a strange relationship.

They love each other, of course they do, but their relationship... well, Jerry looks at their friends, and knows that none of them have a relationship like Margo and Jerry’s. And of course every relationship is different, but Jerry often wonders if relationships are meant to be like this.

And if they aren’t, then what has gone wrong?

\---

“What on Earth are the two of you doing?” Jerry calls, leaning his head out of the window.

Tom and Barbara Good stop singing and dancing around in their goldfish pond and look up at him. The cold night time air stings his tired eyes, and Jerry fights back a yawn.

“We’re dancing in our goldfish pond!” Tom says.

“Yes, I gathered that, but why?”

“What’s going on?” Margo asks.

“If you’re so bloody interested, Margo, why don’t you go and talk to them?” Jerry mutters, immediately regretting his tone. He doesn’t look at Margo, but he is certain she is glaring at him.

“We’re celebrating!” Barbara cries, raising her arms in the air.

“Why?”

“Because we’ve discovered ‘it’!” Tom says.

He honestly has no idea what they are on about. But he’s too tired to care.

“Well, whatever you’re doing, can you please be lunatics quietly?” Jerry says, raising his eyebrows.

“Sorry, Jerry,” they both whisper.

As the Goods obey Jerry’s wishes and start dancing in their pond much more quietly, an exhausted and irritated Jerry shuts the window, pulls the curtains closed and plonks down on the end of the bed. He groans; only the Goods could be up in the middle of the night dancing and singing and prancing around in their goldfish pond.

“Would you mind not flopping down on the bed, Jerry?” Margo says, her voice tense.

“I did not flop,” Jerry says, rubbing his hands across his face.

“I know a flop when I see one!” Her voice is rising in volume. That is never a good sign.

“Well, who made this bed in the first place?”

“I did!”

“Well, whatever,” Jerry says, raising his hands defensively as his attempt at a comeback fails. “But I didn’t flop, Margo.”

“Don’t raise your voice at me, Jerry!” Margo cries.

Jerry’s eyes widen. “I didn’t!”

And then Margo swings her hand and slaps Jerry hard across the face.

She has never hit him before.

The slap resonates around the room, the sharp sound hurting Jerry’s ears as stinging pain erupts across his face. And one of Margo’s sharp fingernails digs into the skin just above his eyebrow, ripping a cut in his skin as her hand moves away.

Jerry flinches backwards, his hand going up to his face. The slap has made his eye water, and his fingertips become warm and wet when they touch his forehead. His fingers are red. He’s bleeding!

“Don’t get blood on the sheets, Jerry,” Margo says, and she steers him into the bathroom.

As he cleans the blood from his face in front of the bathroom mirror, his hands trembling with shock, Jerry hears Margo apologise. But he can’t bring himself to forgive her. How could she have hit him?

Will she do it again?

\---

The next morning, Jerry walks into the Goods’ garden. There is a rotary cultivator on the lawn. His head throbs with concussion.

“Good morning,” Tom says, far too cheerful.

“It wasn’t a very good night,” Jerry says, pointing to the plaster stuck to his head.

He wants to say the words. _Margo hit me. She cut my forehead. It bled and then she told me off for bleeding on her bed sheets. I have a concussion. I don’t want to get hit again._ But he doesn’t. He hopes his expression says some of what he doesn’t speak, but Tom doesn’t seem to notice. He seems more interested in the gardening equipment.

Tom starts ploughing up the front garden, churning up the turf and sending smoky fumes into the air. It makes the garden look a dreadful mess. Margo will be so angry with Tom.

Jerry stands and watches him for a few minutes, and then gets into his car. For the first time in years, he drives to work alone.

\---

Is it normal to be scared of your spouse?

Well, Jerry isn’t scared of Margo, but he is just on edge when he is around her. He feels horribly tense whenever Margo gets annoyed, even when her anger isn’t directed at him. There’s just something about seeing Margo get angry that sends fear through Jerry’s body, his heart racing as he lets out an awkward laugh.

But surely none of that is normal? Being on edge around your spouse isn’t normal, surely. Isn’t it?

\---

Margo blows everything out of proportion.

Such as the time she says Jerry calls her a ‘frump’. He never says the word, but Margo acts like he screamed it at her. But she makes it up. He doesn’t say it. He doesn’t even think it. But she keeps bringing it up, even after Barbara comes around. Barbara clearly senses the awkward atmosphere, and it makes Jerry feel anxious for her be to there when this is going on.

The worst thing, though, is that Margo is so good at blowing things out of proportion that Jerry sometimes believes her, because he can’t remember exactly what happened, so therefore Margo must be telling the truth. He ends up doubting his own memory sometimes, thinking about whether conversations ever actually happened. Sometimes he thinks he must be losing his mind.

But then he reminds himself of his constant anxiety, and knows he lost it long ago.

\---

Jerry is never allowed to enjoy his favourite things. He has to listen to his music with headphones on. He can’t smoke his cigars even though Margo smokes cigarettes. Everything just reeks of double standards and hypocrisy.

But he can’t say that, because Margo would snap at him. So he just bites his tongue and makes sure to enjoy his favourite things when Margo is out of the house.

\---

Jerry loves Margo. Despite all her faults, he loves her. But Jerry sometimes wonders if Margo loves him. And then he wonders if he even should love her, because she doesn’t treat him the way a wife should treat her husband. In fact, he sometimes wonders if their relationship is abusive – except that’s ridiculous, because wives can’t abuse their husbands. Can’t they?

\---

Jerry stands in the bathroom, staring at his reflection in the mirror. His eyes track the scar on his forehead, his receding, greying hairline, and the grey, sallow appearance of his skin. He looks awful, and feels it too. Years of anxiety (both at work and at home) have left him looking and feeling a complete wreck.

“You need to hurry up, Jerry, or you’ll be late for work!” Margo calls through the door.

Jerry sighs and splashes his face with water. It makes him shiver, and he groans.

When he is dressed, he goes out into the living room. Margo is waiting for him.

“You look a bit scruffy, Jerry,” she says softly.

Margo smiles and straightens Jerry’s tie. He looks at her fingernails, and thinks of one cutting his forehead open, of how they dig too tight into his arm when Margo is angry, of how she gets so annoyed when one of them gets broken. And then Jerry meets Margo’s eyes, and she gives him a cheerful smile.

“Have a good day at work, darling,” she says, and she kisses him.

\---

He flinches when Margo raises her voice. One time, Barbara notices this.

“Tom!” Margo yells as Tom makes a particularly rude joke.

And he flinches, his body jolting slightly as Margo snaps at Tom, his heart palpitating. Tom laughs and runs off into the kitchen (he probably wants some more of their disgusting homemade wine), and Margo sighs and walks out of the room, muttering something about powdering her nose.

With the two of them gone, Jerry sees Barbara looking at him. She seems to be studying him, frowning slightly as she looks at him intently. It makes Jerry feel rather awkward, and he breaks eye contact.

“Jerry?” Barbara says, and she sits down beside him.

“Yes?” he says, forcing himself to smile. Because that is what he always does: forcing himself to smile despite his fear or anger or sadness, despite the fact the smile never reaches his eyes (not that anyone ever notices).

“Why do you flinch when Margo raises her voice?”

“I don’t,” Jerry says, far too quickly. He smiles awkwardly. “I mean... it’s not just Margo. Sir shouting makes me jump too. Anyone being loud does, to be honest. I suppose I’m just... a jumpy person.”

When he glances at Barbara’s face, she is smiling. But it’s a sad smile.

“Yes...” she says. “You are, aren’t you?”

\---

After he and Margo have a row, Jerry takes her out for a meal. It happens every single time, to the point that they go out for a meal several times a week. Jerry wonders how much money he spends on these meals.

And he often wonders how many of these rows were his fault. And how many of them were even rows (because one person getting angry at the other is one-sided, and therefore not an argument). And if it’s even fair that he always pays, given that the he didn’t start the majority of their arguments. But he never does any more than just wonder. He never does anything different.

He never brings up the subject with Margo. He just lets it go. And life goes on.

\---

Nothing ever changes. No one notices Jerry’s anxiety or pallor or his rather unstable relationship with Margo – and if they do, they don’t care. No, nothing changes. Life just goes on.

But he isn’t sure how much longer he can keep going.


End file.
